Earlier this week I was asked to do something for someone. Well, I wasn’t so much asked, strictly speaking, as a need was strongly expressed and an expectation implied that I be the one to meet it.
I said no! Because it was conflicting with my own needs at the time. I’m getting better at saying no!!
But I’m still a bit weak on sticking to that “no”. I often feel guilty and start to buy into the idea that maybe my needs are lesser, and so I cave in and cater to the other person’s needs instead.
That’s known as self-abandonment! And right now I’m working very hard at not abandoning myself. And so I struggled with that feeling of guilt all week.
And I felt resentful too because I felt that, outside of my teaching hours, some people think I’m sitting on my arse all day doing very little and so my time is in some way less precious than the time of others. When nothing could be further from the truth. I’m working my arse off all day everyday and my time is also very precious and valuable! Anway, I’m digressing slightly…
Yesterday evening I was walking with a friend and telling her about the situation and I started to develop a little stabbing pain in my left boob that kept coming and going. It persisted all night, and when I awoke this morning it was still there.
So I consulted Louise Hay’s You can heal your life and Debbie Shapiro’s Your body speaks your mind. They’re both pretty much in agreement and suggest that problems with the breast can be related to over-mothering (it doesn’t have to be a child or even a person), over-protection, not caring for and nourishing the self, putting the needs of others first.
Now, I am not this person’s mother, but that concept did resonate. And in recent years I’ve become much better at caring for myself, but as I pointed out already I have a tendency to abandon that when I guilt myself, or I allow others to guilt me into seeing my needs as being less important. Whether someone else is guilting me (which wasn’t the case this week at all), or I’m guilting me, it still all stems from me. And all of this week, though I stubbornly refused to give into it (yay me!), I did struggle with feeling guilty.
Helpfully, Louise Hay has an affirmation to help create a new thought pattern:
“I am important. I count. I now care for and nourish myself with love and with joy. I allow others the freedom to be who they are. We are all safe and we are all free.”
As soon as I read it, tears welled up. (A very good sign that you’re getting to the core of the matter!) And I immediately started to recite it.
Now up until this point the pain was so insistent that when I woke this morning I fully intended to make an appointment to see the doctor as soon as possible (like today). But as soon as I started reciting this affirmation the pain left. I am not kidding!!! Now I have experienced the power of affirmation many times before, but even I wasn’t expecting an instantaneous response. Though I am, of course, delighted!
And I am not stupid. I have made an appointment to see the doctor next week. But I was no longer experiencing the pain (or panic) when I did it, and instead was stepping into the place of nourishing and caring for myself. I don’t have the same concern I did before I looked up the probable cause. I’m treating it as a signal to pay attention and look after my wellbeing rather than a cause for alarm.
The important point I want to emphasise here is that the more I experiment with metaphysical tools the more evidence I see that all physical ailments are caused by mental and emotional patterns. And the way to healing is to change our thoughts, and hence our feelings.
I do realise that to many people this will come across as complete guffology. I once thought so too. But having an open mind means not ruling something out until you’ve tried it for yourself. And not a half-hearted attempt, but really and truly giving it a proper go! Because there is a pattern to our thoughts and emotions – they occur habitually, and breaking life-time habits won’t be done overnight.
It does take time and dedication. But the solution to all problems is spiritual, and ultimately that means it lies in your relationship to yourself. Stop looking outside of yourself for health, wealth or happiness. Look within!