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on Being a force for Love

All of this year (and not for the first time in my life) the whole life purpose question has been niggling away at me.  Around four or five months into 2013 I started getting a quiet little answer: teach the world about love.  !! To which my inner critic guffawed quite loudly.

How on earth could I teach the world about love, when I still have Soooo much to learn about it myself? And slowly but surely I started to recognise that the answer lies in the question: we teach that which we most need to learn.  That is the very reason why I became a life coach and then a meditation teacher.  I needed to teach these things because I so badly needed to learn about them!

And so I’ve been reading more and more, learning more and more, on the topic of love.  Not romantic love I hasten to add (though I certainly have a good deal to learn on that score too).  But spiritual love.  Which I suppose is the only real love.  (Romantic love is really more about attachment….. but that’s for another day)

Anyway, I don’t how it’s going to unfold.  Me teaching others about love.  I still scoff at the idea internally.  But I can’t quite put it down either.

So, I’m just setting the intention every morning to be a force for love.  I don’t know how much impact I’m having, beyond with myself.  I’m certainly catching myself in act of internal criticism (of others) and letting it go.  I’m recognising more readily (though I’ve known it on the intellectual level for a number of years) that if I spot it, I’ve got it!

And yep, that applies to you too.  Everyone in your life is reflecting back your own stuff to you – the “good” and the “bad” (or, to be slightly less judgemental, let’s call them the “light” and the “dark”).

It’s all in you – the light and the dark.  What manifests most predominantly depends on what you put most attention on.  And everywhere you go you will encounter people who show you the light and the dark within you.  But you probably won’t recognise it.  You’ll see it in others and appreciate them or judge them.  But it’s in you too.

So, if someone is really pushing your buttons, instead of getting annoyed or frustrated, or even downright angry, try asking yourself: “In what way do I embody this trait that I so dislike?” Shed the light of awareness on your darker qualities.  Acknowledge that they’re there instead of denying them.

When you accept all of who you are you empower yourself to choose what parts of yourself to express and share with the world.  When you resist part of who you are, that part will keep seeking to be acknowledged – by you subconsciously acting from that place.  Otherwise known as self-sabotage.

The solution is to be loving with yourself, always.  The “darker” qualities are informed by fear.  The lighter ones are informed by love.  When you notice the fearful qualities coming to the fore, just gently acknowledge that they’re there and make some self-enquiry as to where they stem from.

  1. Just notice: “Ah yes, there’s jealousy.  And I’m feeling it because…”.
  2. And then, thank it (yep, I’m serious!) for bringing something important for your attention.
  3. Just sit with it for a while.

When you stop resisting its presence (by either denying its existence within you, or distracting yourself by focussing on other things), it will gently take its leave.  And you’ll return to a place of peace (love :-) ).

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